Farewell
by BassoonistSpex
Summary: Entry for HollyCullen1396's Twilight Oneshot Contest : Edward's general musings on life before love whilst playing the piano :P , and his feelings on losing the most precious thing in the world... and a terrible summary :/


_Yes, that's right, I'm ba-ack! For the readers of Treading Water, I am so, so sorry!! I'm completely stuck (In case you hadn't worked that out already lol) so if you feel like like helping... feel free to PM me! This is just a oneshot that just sort of... popped into existence when I was in a bit of a mood :P I always go straight to the piano when I've had a bad day at school so I thought I'd try to explain how it feels to play by using Edward's POV... I hope I've done justice to all you pianists out there :) So, it started like that and just sort of... didn't stop! Then I heard about **HollyCullen1396**'s Twilight Oneshot Contest, so I thought I'd give it a go! Please go and check her stories out, they're amazing! Anyways, I am really sorry about Treading Water :/_

_Disclaimer: *sighs* Ok... I think we all know it's not mine :( I do own a rather bad, half-finished serialist composition if anyone wants it?? :P  
_

_Eternal thanks to **Little Miss optimistic **and **The Red Tail** just for being two beautiful, amazing people. I miss you both like crazy!! And ceramics... If either of you are reading this... I LOVE YOU!_

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_**THE RULES**  
All entries must be over 1000 words long  
They must be inspired by a song and that song must be written at the top of the page.  
It must be in canon, no all-human stories!  
No lemons or anything like that!  
But other than that, use your imagination!

**THE ****CATEGORIES**  
Best Comedy  
Best Tear-Jerker  
Best Romance (Remember NO LEMONS!!)

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**Farewell  
**_Inspired by 'Farewell' (Yiruma)_

I sighed in contentment as my fingers brushed over the ivory, pushing down firmly on its surface but at the same barely touching it. The music flowed out of the piano, surrounding me in its magic. Vampires, werewolves, humans – all understandable and logical but this feeling… It could never be explained. I never wanted it to be. A new thought entered my head and, as it grew, the music changed as well. It became hollow, lonely, incomplete. Like me.  
I gazed down at the glossy black surface of my instrument, my best friend, as its gold lettering glinted in the dim light. Shapes danced over the top of it, although it stayed still and plain. That instrument had seen me at my best… and at my worst. I had been through so much. _We_ had been through so much. _Together. _  
The music flowed through my entire being, taking me over. But even through enchanted ears I could hear that there was something missing. Some_one_. I had my family, yes, but…  
Carlisle came up behind me, resting his hand gently on my shoulder and showing me what I already knew – Himself and Esme; Rosalie and Emmett; Alice and Jasper. Then me. Just me. Standing alone in and empty white space with no-one by my side. The music suddenly whipped round in frustration, the tempo increasing, the rhythm becoming increasingly agitated. My father gently lifted his hand and left the room, understanding that I needed to be alone with the music. He had been alone for centuries. What if I was as well? What if I never found my perfect match? I calmed the piece down, calming myself at the same time. Closing my eyes slowly I began to weave a new, pink thread into the melody. It was high and sweet, but not sickeningly so; graceful yet still beautiful and carefree.  
I continued playing, trying to perfect the music but never quite managing to. Love was not something you could imagine – you had to experience it to know how it felt. Whilst I had not loved, I could not understand the complexity, the magic, the miracle that is love and as hard as I tried, I knew that the composition that was my eternity could not be completed until I had loved.  
What would I do without my piano? Without its soothing keys and soft tones, I was absolutely nothing. If I didn't have it, I would tear myself apart. Literally. Was that how love felt? Could I someday feel that way towards another person? No. I could never feel such love for another _person_. I was a monster - bitter, soulless and murdering. I didn't deserve to be on this Earth, and I certainly did not deserve love. I had killed. I had destroyed other people's love. I could never have my own.  
"You can, you know." Rosalie murmured. I hadn't even noticed she was there. How did she know what I was thinking? "The music." She stated simply. "You don't need to talk whilst you're playing." The melody briefly softened along with my feelings, then once again warped into bitterness and anger at myself, at love for being so evasive, and at the entire world. Rosalie chose to ignore this change but carried on. "I used to think that I would never find love, that I was too monstrous for anyone to care. But look at what I have now, how much Emmett means to me. You _will_ find someone Edward, just be patient." The music changed again. It was only very subtle, but still she noticed. "I'm afraid to say you're no different to me. Just because I'm… a cow, I guess, doesn't mean we're worlds apart you know. I didn't choose this life, I resented it. I've killed people, I've despaired, I've even considered killing myself. Don't think I didn't notice you trying as well. But keep your chin up Edward. You'll find her someday."  
With that comment she slid silently out of the room, leaving me dazed. I had never thought that Rosalie could feel the same way as me, that she could know everything I was going through. It was a shocking realisation, but also a very comforting one. I was not alone – I had my sister by my side, and probably Jasper as well. He had been alone for so long, and he had been through much more than I had. Carlisle had always been there for me, whereas Jasper had no-one. I was not, as I had previously (and somewhat selfishly) thought, the unfortunate being in our family. At that thought, I stopped wallowing in self pity. What use could that ever do?

I had almost forgotten about the instrument beneath my fingertips until I heard the music flowing out of it. It was new, triumphant, happy, comforted. It was me. I had a supportive, amazing family who would always be there for me and, if I stuck by them, I might even find the love I yearned for so much.

That was before I met _her_. Isabella Marie Swan. My singer. My love. My Bella. She had brightened my life, and made me realise that's what I had. A life. With Isabella, I didn't just exist. I _lived_. I laughed, I had fun, I loved. I lost track of the years we were together – it seemed to be a matter of seconds before the shining, youthful girl I first fell in love with turned old and frail. She tried to hide her age with hair dye and make-up, but we could all see that the inevitable was not far off. She hadn't wanted to become one of us. I had given her the choice, against my better judgement, but we both came to the same conclusion. As strong as our feelings were, she could not – would not – die for love. That idea was so medieval.  
But actually losing her… that was the most unimaginable pain. I was there that night. She was ill, she was tired. She just wanted to give up. My baby had been fighting for so long, and that was the night she surrendered.  
Everybody knew it would happen that night. My family left us alone in the house together to say our final goodbyes. Bella and I lay in each others arms, too scared of the future to speak. Nobody knew what was awaiting either of us when the moment of separation came. I heard her heartbeat slow, and we both knew what was coming. We shared our final, most passionate, most soul-destroying kiss, then her heart was still. I felt so useless, kneeling on a bed with my wife's limp body clutched to my chest. A scream of pain ripped through the air, slicing the now silent room. There should not be silence. I had grown so accustomed to the rhythmic music of her heartbeat, every minute of every day, the rhythm of life itself.

My pixie-like little sister padded into the room and, without saying a word, wrapped her arms tightly around my waist and buried her head in my chest. It was then that I realised – as much as I hurt, I had to stay strong for my family. At times of great loss, it sometimes eases the pain to know that somebody depends on you staying strong and steady.  
"I miss her already." Alice whispered into my shirt.  
"You can't miss her, Alice. She's still here. In our hearts, in this room, in memories, pictures, notes… just smell the air. She's here. Always here. We have each other, and we still have Isabella, even though we can't see her. She's still here." With those words, I convinced myself as well. We could never really lose Bella until she left our hearts and minds. And that was not going to happen.  
"But Edward… you're alone now! She's gone! How can you be so calm?!" Alice was half-sobbing, half-screaming at me. I didn't know, I really didn't. But I did know that it hurt to see my baby sister looking so… vulnerable. She had always been so strong, so independent and defensive.  
"I don't know Al, but look at her face. She wasn't hurt, she was happy with her life. We made her happy Ali, never forget that." I brushed Bella's silver hair gently out of her face, imagining that it was its original mahogany brown colour. Looking down at her face, I changed it to the one in my mind's eye. Those beautiful chocolate eyes, now to remain closed forever, her smooth, pale skin, the way she threw her head back when she laughed, her walk, her smile, the playful twinkle in her eyes… I would miss her but, as I had told Alice, she was still there. Always.  
Alice started running memories through her mind like a film reel, showing us both our time with Bella. We both smiled sadly at each other, sharing a quiet moment of understanding that can only be had between siblings. Bella had altered our family forever when she arrived, and even more so when she left. We could never be the same again. None of us.  
Sitting as we were, we didn't notice the rest of our family enter the room. None of them spoke aloud, but their minds were full of sorrow and loss. Even Emmett was quiet.

"Come on Edward," Carlisle said gently, looking down sadly at Bella's still form "It's time to say farewell."

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_So... did you like? Hate? I'm thinking about making it one or two chapters longer after I've got nowhere in the contest, what do you think? Please review.  
__(And sorry about the terribly unimaginative title, I will change it if I think of a better one. Or if you do... review with your ideas!)_

_Once again, much love and Emmett hugs to two of the people I miss the most - **Little Miss optimistic **and **The Red Tail. **Seriously, go and read their stories. Now. They deserve it :)_

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_Review!  
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